I wrote the first draft of this testimony on November 11th, 2011 and have made several revisions since.

11/11/11 is now a memory. It’s the second to the last day of this century where the month, day and year will be the same. Not a big deal per say, maybe for one lifetime.  
 
Of these types of dates, 7/7/7 was very significant for me. I often listen to John Mark McMillan’s song, “How He Loves," in memorial. The lyrics provide great insight on God’s unfailing love.

God revealed that day to me several years in advance through a dream. The actual dream occurred in 2003. I recorded it in a diary I had recently started. In the dream, I was at a festival filled with music, people and dancing.  The festival reverberated with the number seven, which I distinctly remembered and recorded in my diary. The dream also resonated with a sense of peace, completeness and perfection that saturated every thought and movement.

I started a diary about three months prior in order to record all the amazing things God was doing in my life. Starting the journal corresponded with the first time I was devoted to a prayer routine.  Moreover, I had turned away from sinful behavior and rededicated myself to Him;  I kept a list of prayers for friends and relatives, keeping track of those that had been answered.

My first experience of God’s ability to answer prayers occurred between my sophomore and junior year in high school. Although raised Catholic by one of my parents, for the most part, I didn't internalize what I knew of Him, allowing Him to be the center of my life. During that summer, through reading Scripture, I began to understand what mom had meant in stating that God desires a relationship with us wherein we're in daily communion, just as Adam and Eve had been. 

I’ve since realized that God desires this intimate relationship with us for our own good, not because He needs our love or attention. Without prayer, we neglect Him, neither being conscious of His presence nor attributing all that is good to its proper cause. Without prayer, without a relationship with Him, we’re predisposed to disordered pleasures that can never fully satisfy. Similarly, living without prayer is like being married to someone you know you love, but never spending time together or doing anything for them. What a sad marriage that would be, the kind that often leads to divorce. Thankfully, His ways are not like our ways –He never leaves us, even when we ignore or hurt Him, others or ourselves.

A poem by E. E. Cummings helped catalyze the change I went through that summer. The poem reflected on the reality of death. I remember being awe struck at the meaninglessness of life if everyone dies in the end. All concerns, especially those of a typical sophomore at a public high school, seemed remarkably irrelevant.

Shortly after reading the poem, I said a prayer that I would be led to two books that would have a profound impact on my life. I wasn’t much of a reader but I realized that needed to change.  I was led to read to books that summer: Holy Scripture and “Dianetics: The Modern Science of Mental Health,” by L. Ron Hubbard.

In reading the Bible, especially the books of Matthew, Mark, Luke and John, my heart transformed. The miraculous and compassionate life of Jesus filled me with joy. The principles I learned through catechism grew deeper; not only did I know what sin was (disobedience to the 10 commandments for starters), but for the first time I actually desired to avoid sin and pursue righteousness. From that change came great joy.

For one thing, instead of contesting with my parents, I desired to honor them. This transformed my heart so that I was able to see the good they intended for me, rather than seeing them as obstacles to 'good times.' Similarly, rather than finding reasons to dislike dad for chores he would ask of me, I strove for obedience in the hope of showing love and respect. This behavior transformed both of us and our relationship grew stronger. 

When school started up, my focus also changed. For the first time I was regularly excited to learn something new and receive good grades. I also desired to share what I knew about God with friends, who I knew were struggling, and with other schoolmates. Correspondingly, the knowledge I gained from the science-fiction novel Dianetics, though written by an athiest and potentially diabolic, intensified my desire to find solutions to human suffering, seemingly empowering me with a greater sense of understanding and ability.  My outlook on life became brighter; I had what seemed like a ‘big picture’ grasp.

That summer was awesome! It was filled with a new sense of His presence, with love, growth and maturity. God continued to answer many prayers, the most important of which was mom's complete recovery from breast cancer. The two years of high school that followed, though filled with their share of suffering, were very fruitful. After graduating high school, I left the small town I knew so well for a sprawling metropolis, searching for a job and a career path.

Sadly, in the midst of my search, in spite of knowing how good He is to us, I believed I needed to separate from Him to find true happiness. Like an Israelite falling back into idol worship after a miraculous delivery from Egypt, like a freed slave going back to it’s master, I allowed the temptations of this world, ‘the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes and the boastful pride of life,’ to suffocate desires for holiness, which the Holy Spirit gently impressed upon me. My prayer life weakened and I succumbed to a man-centered lifestyle instead of a God-centered one.

It wasn’t until 2003 that I rededicated myself to Him. This was around the time I started to keep a diary.

I can attribute much of the inspiration for this change to the gentle urging of a campus missionary and through the graces I received from the intercession of the Virgin Mary.  Moreover, saying the rosary helped me overcome temptations to view pornography, allowing me to develop a healthier respect for myself, women and marriage. My trust in God and desire to live a holy life also helped me overcome inclinations to use and sell drugs, particularly marijuana, which had led me down a destructive path, impairing mental clarity and healthy relationships with family and friends.